The older you get and the more you get caught up in your work, the fewer friends you have left. When you live in a foreign country most of the time, it just adds to this problem.

The question is, is it worthwhile keeping friendships just because they've existed for so long? What if you've outgrown each other, or worse still, the friendship has somehow become poisonous? What if it's always been a little poisonous, but you've always told yourself that friendship is about accepting people as they are. But now when you're older and more certain of what you want, perhaps it's time to prune your friendships, despite the fact that the friends are getting sparse. It's painful, but maybe necessary. Still, who knows if they're doing the right thing?

Friends should be honest, there's no doubt about it. But having a friend who systematically wears down your self-esteem...I don't know if that's really healthy. Well, I suppose the more someone knows about you, the easier it is for him or her to find your vulnerabilities. Does that mean we should only have superficial friendships in order to hide our faults? Somehow I am not convinced by that. But maybe the friends you choose to have close friendships with should not be the kind who prey on your weaknesses and say things to hurt you. Everyone can inadvertently say something mean unintentionally, but when it goes on over years, then maybe it's time to say goodbye.

Hey, maybe I am hypersensitive and have absolutely no self-esteem. I do know that. But it's something I can't easily do something about. If you said I was fat, I could lose weight. This is like saying I am ugly and expecting me to do something about it.

I am not as strong as you are, I suppose. In any case, anything I might have to say will all be in my defence. When you say something so pointed, there's is no other way to deal with it, only to deny or defend. I don't think you want either. So either we have to get over ourselves, or this friendship is over.