Talking to myself...seems I'm doing a lot of it these days. I don't know if I'm made to socialise with other human beings. I feel like some awkward little idiot with nothing intelligent to say...see, when you talk to yourself, no one's gonna complain about how un-intellectual your conversation is.
I suppose that's playing it safe. The same way my toys always smile at me now matter how silly I've been..and I don't have to be intelligent 'cos honestly, they don't care. But it also means I don't learn how to be smart and well, it's kinda running away from reality. But I suppose I have other things to worry about first...
..like my Hausarbeit..which was supposed to be handed in yesterday. But, I didn't write much on Sat and Sunday, so I wrote nearly 8 pages today...my usual speed was 2-3 pages a day...now I'm so close to completing it, but I just can't..my brain is dying...I can't concentrate anymore. I've been working on that paper since 9.30am this morning. It's 10pm now...only took breaks for lunch and the bus ride home. And I'm so stressed I'm getting a sore throat and I have a toothache. Please just let me finish it tomorrow so I can post it on Wednesday morning...it takes forever to get to Germany as it is. But I must hand it in..it's my last Hausarbeit for Anglistik before I write my Magisterarbeit...I will have to write another one for DaF, but I guess that's ok...I just hate academic writing with all its quoting of sources and trying to form arguments.
Once I finish this, I can work in peace...yeah, not even have a holiday in peace...WORK in peace. But at least once I get home, I can relax. Maybe I'll even have time to go swimming. I still haven't gone a single time since I came back. In any case, I'd stop feeling guilty for writing my paper during office hours...but I never had another chance. Honestly, I've never worked harder to finish my papers, because usually I'd be in Germany and have no other distractions, like work and other stuff.
In any case, I hope my immune system survives this...I really have to be fit for the 12 tours next week. At least Wed is an offday...I would like to go shopping...for fun... :)
I suppose that's playing it safe. The same way my toys always smile at me now matter how silly I've been..and I don't have to be intelligent 'cos honestly, they don't care. But it also means I don't learn how to be smart and well, it's kinda running away from reality. But I suppose I have other things to worry about first...
..like my Hausarbeit..which was supposed to be handed in yesterday. But, I didn't write much on Sat and Sunday, so I wrote nearly 8 pages today...my usual speed was 2-3 pages a day...now I'm so close to completing it, but I just can't..my brain is dying...I can't concentrate anymore. I've been working on that paper since 9.30am this morning. It's 10pm now...only took breaks for lunch and the bus ride home. And I'm so stressed I'm getting a sore throat and I have a toothache. Please just let me finish it tomorrow so I can post it on Wednesday morning...it takes forever to get to Germany as it is. But I must hand it in..it's my last Hausarbeit for Anglistik before I write my Magisterarbeit...I will have to write another one for DaF, but I guess that's ok...I just hate academic writing with all its quoting of sources and trying to form arguments.
Once I finish this, I can work in peace...yeah, not even have a holiday in peace...WORK in peace. But at least once I get home, I can relax. Maybe I'll even have time to go swimming. I still haven't gone a single time since I came back. In any case, I'd stop feeling guilty for writing my paper during office hours...but I never had another chance. Honestly, I've never worked harder to finish my papers, because usually I'd be in Germany and have no other distractions, like work and other stuff.
In any case, I hope my immune system survives this...I really have to be fit for the 12 tours next week. At least Wed is an offday...I would like to go shopping...for fun... :)
posted by Samantha @ 3:52 pm
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