It's officially over. Nope, unfortunately I don't have any breaking news. It's just that I just broke up with my boyfriend. I don't feel very sad in the sense that I don't feel like crying or starving myself or eating too much. But there're some things that will definitely be very different. It's moving out of the comfort zone that I've gotten into. I'll have to get used to not having someone around all the time. But I guess it shouldn't be too hard. I've spent most of my life single anyway. I guess the relationship was at the end of its road already. I can't live in a possessive, stifling relationship and he can't deal with the way I behave, especially with other guys. But that's just me. I also can't multi-task...so I can't concentrate on 2 things at once...or two people at once. And lately, I'd been really busy filming the second part of the Big Unknown 2, so I didn't have time for him. But I guess it's partly cos of his intense jealousy that I couldn't take it anymore. I was also tired of explaining to him every single thing did. I don't like to feel I'm responsible to anyone for my life. I'm not saying he's bad or anything. I think our lifestyles and priorities are just too different...that's all. It's probably better for both of us in the long run.
He's still a good guy and will be a very faithful boyfriend to the next girl he falls in love with, I think. Unfortunately, I can't give him the devotion that he needs. I've got too flighty a personality. I'm no commitment phobe, but I like the thrill of the chase...even if I don't catch anything. I like the freedom to do that. Maybe I'm a bitch. Who knows. Anyway, it's over...even if it didn't end the way it should've.
To be honest, he had been considering repeatedly, if he should break up with me. At that time, I'd still been fighting to keep him. But slowly, I realised the futility of it all (although now he's the one who didn't wanna give up on the relationship) and how stifling and tiring it was for me. I won't list all his bad points and rant on and on about it...cos I've got my own weaknesses too. But I guess it's better to hurt now than for the long term. Anyway, I tried to break up with him last week, but after that, we went for a walk...and by the end of it, I'd taken him back. I won't say why. But this weekend away in Ehingen made me realised that I needed some change in my life. But I didn't just break up with him cos of the show or because the cameraman kept bringing it up whenever I mentioned "boyfriend". And when the crew were saying their goodbyes, they added stuff like "BE good".."Drink more water and sleep enough"...and he said, "Don't forget to break up with your boyfriend!" Haha. It was hilarious, but don't worry. I'm not that kinda person who will do something just because of what someone else tells me.
This whole weekend was an adventure. Maybe one gone terribly wrong...but it was still an adventure. And I was the idiot who caused all of it. I got us on the wrong train on the way to Würzburg...damn it. I don't know how stupid I can get. Anyway, we ended up in Frankfurt instead...and in the meantime, we found out that the Würzburg trip wouldn't have been feasible anyway, cos the girl we were supposed to visit didn't have time for us. So we decided to go straight to Ehingen. But there were some problems. We either had to travel overnight and wait in Ulm for 4 hours. Or stay in Frankfurt at the train station for even longer...cos we couldn't find a hotel to stay in. SO we took the overnight option and stayed 4 hours in Ulm. The guys were nice and made a makeshift bed for me on the seats...but after a while, I was practically freezing to death, so I couldn't sleep anymore. Ended up just walking around and talking and observing the weirdos at the station. Finally, the misery was over and we could go to Ehingen. But we couldn't sleep anyway, cos the rooms weren't ready till like nearly 9am. So we drank super expensive tea/coffee (bloody 3.50 Euros each!!) and waited for 3 hours till we nearly died. Then finally we could sleep!! I was so relieved. What a harrowing experience! But it was interesting nonetheless.
There were quite a lot of funny incidents that happened this time round...but they're too many to tell all at once...so I'll leave it for next time!
He's still a good guy and will be a very faithful boyfriend to the next girl he falls in love with, I think. Unfortunately, I can't give him the devotion that he needs. I've got too flighty a personality. I'm no commitment phobe, but I like the thrill of the chase...even if I don't catch anything. I like the freedom to do that. Maybe I'm a bitch. Who knows. Anyway, it's over...even if it didn't end the way it should've.
To be honest, he had been considering repeatedly, if he should break up with me. At that time, I'd still been fighting to keep him. But slowly, I realised the futility of it all (although now he's the one who didn't wanna give up on the relationship) and how stifling and tiring it was for me. I won't list all his bad points and rant on and on about it...cos I've got my own weaknesses too. But I guess it's better to hurt now than for the long term. Anyway, I tried to break up with him last week, but after that, we went for a walk...and by the end of it, I'd taken him back. I won't say why. But this weekend away in Ehingen made me realised that I needed some change in my life. But I didn't just break up with him cos of the show or because the cameraman kept bringing it up whenever I mentioned "boyfriend". And when the crew were saying their goodbyes, they added stuff like "BE good".."Drink more water and sleep enough"...and he said, "Don't forget to break up with your boyfriend!" Haha. It was hilarious, but don't worry. I'm not that kinda person who will do something just because of what someone else tells me.
This whole weekend was an adventure. Maybe one gone terribly wrong...but it was still an adventure. And I was the idiot who caused all of it. I got us on the wrong train on the way to Würzburg...damn it. I don't know how stupid I can get. Anyway, we ended up in Frankfurt instead...and in the meantime, we found out that the Würzburg trip wouldn't have been feasible anyway, cos the girl we were supposed to visit didn't have time for us. So we decided to go straight to Ehingen. But there were some problems. We either had to travel overnight and wait in Ulm for 4 hours. Or stay in Frankfurt at the train station for even longer...cos we couldn't find a hotel to stay in. SO we took the overnight option and stayed 4 hours in Ulm. The guys were nice and made a makeshift bed for me on the seats...but after a while, I was practically freezing to death, so I couldn't sleep anymore. Ended up just walking around and talking and observing the weirdos at the station. Finally, the misery was over and we could go to Ehingen. But we couldn't sleep anyway, cos the rooms weren't ready till like nearly 9am. So we drank super expensive tea/coffee (bloody 3.50 Euros each!!) and waited for 3 hours till we nearly died. Then finally we could sleep!! I was so relieved. What a harrowing experience! But it was interesting nonetheless.
There were quite a lot of funny incidents that happened this time round...but they're too many to tell all at once...so I'll leave it for next time!
posted by Samantha @ 6:19 pm
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