Relationships can be really tiring. You know what to do and what not to do, but somehow you still do everything wrong. Never in my life have I wanted anything to work out more than this, but still, the same old mistakes and failures come to haunt me...and new challenges come along too.

I've never thought of myself as a possessive, jealous girlfriend. Usually, it was my boyfriend who were possessive and jealous. Two of them broke up with me because they couldn't stand me talking so much to other guys. Well, I never call my boyfriend 10 times a day to ask him where he is, but I would definitely like to get an SMS a day, especially since he's so far away.

I know it's a lot to ask from a guy to just stop playing his game for a while and talk to me without watching TV or something like that. But it doesn't make me want it any less. I let him play WoW whenever he wants...I even play with him. But sometimes I want him to turn off the thing and just give me some attention.

But no matter how often we argue over this, there will never be a real resolution. I just gave up and said I would stop complaining..and he can tell me I promised him that if I tried to complain again. It's simpler. He just doesn't understand what it means to me...he says, "I can't understand why you always get angry over every little piece of crap"..and I feel even worse. So what to do? I try to get a life and meet up with my friends, get busy with my work..and don't bother to stay online so long to talk to him. But it hurts. It hurts to have to change for him. Why can't he change for me too? I don't know...is it just me, or have I given in almost all the time? I'm not saying he's unreasonable...but it's tiring. But I want so much for it to work...that I have no idea what I am doing anymore.