Hmm. I don't know what to feel now. Numb is probably the word to describe it. I can't take my Intermediate Exam in English this semester. I will have to wait another 6 months at least. I can't believe a mere technicality like language requirement is standing in my way. I can think of positive things about this 6-month break...but on the other hand, I feel guilty for trying to be positive about it when my parents will have to fork out another 6000 dollars for me to "enjoy" a 6-month break.

On the up side, I will be able to spend next sem fully revising for both my Intermediate Exams (for German AND English) and I won't have a problem fulfilling the 8 weeks internship with EDB during the holidays. I could find a job, to make it a little easier on my parents. I could also take some classes in other subjects simply out of interest.

On the down side, I am wasting my parents' money. And possibly 6 months of my life, if I choose to be more negative about it.

The question is no longer HOW it happened. The truth is that it is now fact. So I can only decide how I can best make use of my time. Scolding myself for being stupid is something that will never change anything. If anyone else scolds me, I also cannot change anything. So...don't ask me why. Just let me come to grips with this reality.