I've got this situation to think through...I really don't know what it means to me, whether I should learn anything from this incident. Let me start from the beginning. My friend calls me up to set a day to go out. We settle on Thursday(today) and tentatively, arrange to meet at 9am at JP, cos he has tuition in the afternoon. So anyway, I make arrangements to meet my sister after school at around 2pm so I can get some stuff from KAP. Meanwhile, he decides to change the meeting time to 10am, then later, change the venue to Orchard instead. When he finds out that I am meeting my sister, he complains that he will have to spend 1 hour alone. In his words, "I assumed we would both be free till our later appointments and we'd like leave together." Well, odd as it may seem, I was pissed that he was so presumptious, that I would have nothing else to do that day. I mean as much as I am slacking, I still have plans. I was also indignant that he kept changing plans. I may be a flexible person, to the extent that I am quite happy to just spend my time wandering from one place to the next without any real plan, BUT, when people make plans, I expect them not to be constantly changed. For me, plans set expectations. Well anyway, to be fair my friend did try to clear up the misunderstanding and irritation, but this morning, he decided to change the time to 10.30am... but he sms-ed me just before I actually left the house. Then when I suggested changing the venue cos there was a show that only showed at Plaza sing that I wanted to watch, he didn't reply. Well, I got pissed (well, yeah, as USUAL) cos like what am I supposed to do then? In addition, I felt a cold coming on (this is not a lie) so I decided to cancel. He called me then and asked if I was just like pretending to be sick (cos I sounded okay yesterday) and was just using that as an excuse not to go out. I don't know...I was quite happy to go out originally but all these complications really threw me off. Anyway, both of us were tired (that's why he changed the time to meet and I was talking to Han till abt 2 am this morning) so I told him to go and sleep...he said "You also wanna go back to sleep right?" and said he didn't understand why I try to make everything seem like his fault. Is that true? Do I really do that to people? I must say that I may not be a very objective person, but do I truly make everything that goes wrong seem like someone else's fault... like to rationalise it away or something? Let me share some psychology that I learnt from hospital with you (this is of course subject to my own interpretation): there are often 2 kinds of reactions to bad events that happen to us. The first kind of reaction is to blame yourself. eg. If your teacher scolds you for doing something you don't remember doing, you assume that it's because you're a lousy person and can't do anything right. The second kind of reaction is to blame everyone else but yourself. eg, a criminal tells the judge that he committed whatever crime cos his friends told him to, or he grew up in a broken family, or whatever, as long as he's not the guilty one. The first kind of person is often depressed or melancholic. The second person is angry and bitter. Think about it...how do you usually react? I'm gonna watch Wan Quan Yu Le!