This has got to be one of my worst weekends ever. I don't even know what I should think about it.

I was practically crying myself to sleep every night because of this brutal email he sent me. He said it wasn't meant in a bad way, but he's hurt my feelings anyway. True, he has other problems. It's not that I don't know that. What I don't know is how he expects me to react. Does he want to be left alone? Does he want me to ask him about them? Does he want to talk about them? How can I know if he doesn't tell me?

On one hand, I really do like him. On the other, I think I deserve to be treated better. In any case, I stumbled on an iVillage article when I was writing to Christine yesterday. Here's the relevant excerpt:

Don't Do Nice Things for Them. Let Them Do Nice Things for You

If you do something nice for someone, it makes you feel good on two levels. You feel pleased with yourself and extra-warm toward the person you've just spoiled. To justify the effort or expense, we often over-idealize how wonderful he is to deserve it! End result: we like the person more. When someone does something nice for us, we're pleased. But there are a whole lot of other emotions that come into play -- and they're not all good. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed. There's pressure to live up to being the wonderful person who inspired such a gift/act, not to mention pressure to return the favor. It's all even trickier if the "nice thing" comes from someone you very much like but aren't sure about yet. Got the point? When we're infatuated with someone, we're desperate to do nice things for him. You're much better off letting him spoil you.

While it sounds good and quite aptly describes my sitatuation. However at this point, I wonder if I sit back and do nothing, whether he will even notice or care...and that's very disturbing. Well, maybe I should try it...I have nothing else to lose already...I hardly have any dignity left anyway.

He came back last night...he sent me an sms that simply said, Ich bin wieder da. Bis morgen. I don't know what he meant by "bis morgen". I am not trying to think too much, but I dislike ambiguity. Was it just something to say...like "seeya around" or did he really mean he was gonna call me or see me the next day? Well, I won't know till this evening I guess. If he doesn't call, then I'll know it's the former...if he does, well, then I'm lucky, I suppose.

Ok, on to less disappointing things...

I can finally cycle without anyone holding the bike, but only for short distances. And erm, I can't like start on my own either. Oh and I also had a little accident. I crashed into a tree while going downslope. But the tree and the bike are ok...and I am too...except for a few scratches on my arm. It could've been worse...but I'm not scared or anything. I hope I can really cycle on my own soon...that'll be really fun.

Well, there's homework to be done now...