I did manage to leave promptly at 6pm yesterday. I was just so happy to be free at last. The first week of work has been ridiculously exhausting, not because I had a million and one things to do, but mainly because I had nothing to do but wait for time to pass. Sianz. And there's a little problem at work. I can't give the details, but it has to do with being given access, but no authority. It's hard...like you're involved but cannot make any decisions...and when people are pushing you from both sides, what can you do? What if the main players are all out of office and can't be reached for comment? What if the other party you're liasing with doesn't quite listen to what you have to say? Sigh. I hope I am not gonna get slammed for this mess that has arisen. I think one party is a bit too kiasu though. Well...I hope the relevant people appear tomorrow, so the problem can be solved.

I think life would be less complicated if you could love the people who love you. But it's never been that easy...not for me anyway. Technically, it would be easier for me to seek solace in the arms of another, but strangely enough, not only am I not interested (I probably would've just liked the attention previously)...I am close to feeling repulsed sometimes. I don't know what has changed inside me. I'm a little afraid. And I don't wanna fool around just to feel attractive. Well, it's tempting..but it feels wrong, like I'll be hurting others and myself.

Have to go back to work tomorrow. Sianz.