To all the stupid men out there who just want sex, please stay away from me. You are not worth my time. I will find someone out there whom I deserve...and boy do I deserve better than you. If you think having no-strings-attached sex will boost your fragile male ego, you are so WRONG. You're just way too cowardly for the real thing. Stop trying to attack me in what you perceive as my moments of weakness. Someday someone will pay you back.
Ok, now that's off my chest.
Now I wanna rant about something else. My freaking exams. I did really well for Swedish. Could've gotten full marks if not for one silly little mistake...but I'll be satisfied with 54/55. However, what I have learnt is...grades don't bloody tell you where you're really standing. I am sure if they had dictation or listening compre, I would've failed the test...but it was all grammar and translation, which you can actually memorize stuff for. I suck at application though...which is why my other 2 exams didn't go too well. Sure..I passed. I even got a 2,0 for my Diachronic Linguistics, but grades are so relative. This is my first 2,0 ever for English. I've usually gotten 1s...the worst ever was 1,8. Sigh. What on earth is happening to me? I've lost so many things...boyfriend, a chance to take the impt exams, a 1 average for English. Sigh. Sure, maybe a 2,0 is a good thing for many people, but the truth is, I know I am capable of more. But what's the point? A near-miss cannot be considered a success, no matter how close you come to the target. It is still a freaking MISS. Sure, very pessimistic, but how else can you react when the world as you know it comes crashing down? There are people with worse worries...but for the individual, it doesn't so much matter WHAT those worries are, but rather that they are HIS worries.
Max will return me my Care Bears DVD tonight and since he didn't sound particularly enthusiastic, it might be the very last time I ever see him. Sure, it sounds fatalistic, but how can I react when he just hands me the DVDs and leaves? I think I already know. I will cry. And feel pain for a long time to come. To know that someone you love can walk in and walk out of your life just like THAT, is like hell on earth. It's nothing that no one hasn't experienced (Gosh, the construction of this sentence is risky...3 negations!)but it doesn't mean that the pain becomes less because you're not the only one who has suffered. I've learnt more through this...and I apologize for the times I was insensitive to anyone experiencing a break up or a rejection. I now know how you must've felt.
On one hand, I am looking forward to seeing him. On the other, I don't want it to happen because I know it will hurt me to see him leave. Forever.
Life has never been more complicated. Feelings are a complicated thing...
Well, I'll let you know what happens. Probably not much.
Oh Rach, don't worry, I will check for your letter next week!
Ok, now that's off my chest.
Now I wanna rant about something else. My freaking exams. I did really well for Swedish. Could've gotten full marks if not for one silly little mistake...but I'll be satisfied with 54/55. However, what I have learnt is...grades don't bloody tell you where you're really standing. I am sure if they had dictation or listening compre, I would've failed the test...but it was all grammar and translation, which you can actually memorize stuff for. I suck at application though...which is why my other 2 exams didn't go too well. Sure..I passed. I even got a 2,0 for my Diachronic Linguistics, but grades are so relative. This is my first 2,0 ever for English. I've usually gotten 1s...the worst ever was 1,8. Sigh. What on earth is happening to me? I've lost so many things...boyfriend, a chance to take the impt exams, a 1 average for English. Sigh. Sure, maybe a 2,0 is a good thing for many people, but the truth is, I know I am capable of more. But what's the point? A near-miss cannot be considered a success, no matter how close you come to the target. It is still a freaking MISS. Sure, very pessimistic, but how else can you react when the world as you know it comes crashing down? There are people with worse worries...but for the individual, it doesn't so much matter WHAT those worries are, but rather that they are HIS worries.
Max will return me my Care Bears DVD tonight and since he didn't sound particularly enthusiastic, it might be the very last time I ever see him. Sure, it sounds fatalistic, but how can I react when he just hands me the DVDs and leaves? I think I already know. I will cry. And feel pain for a long time to come. To know that someone you love can walk in and walk out of your life just like THAT, is like hell on earth. It's nothing that no one hasn't experienced (Gosh, the construction of this sentence is risky...3 negations!)but it doesn't mean that the pain becomes less because you're not the only one who has suffered. I've learnt more through this...and I apologize for the times I was insensitive to anyone experiencing a break up or a rejection. I now know how you must've felt.
On one hand, I am looking forward to seeing him. On the other, I don't want it to happen because I know it will hurt me to see him leave. Forever.
Life has never been more complicated. Feelings are a complicated thing...
Well, I'll let you know what happens. Probably not much.
Oh Rach, don't worry, I will check for your letter next week!
posted by Samantha @ 4:56 pm
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