Well, it's really over. He didn't miss me one bit when he was in Munich and that's how he's sure he made the right decision. It was painful to hear, but maybe in retrospect, I'll be able to understand it better. At least we did have some great times together. I just have to accept it as my past. When I saw him, he wasn't the same guy I fell in love with. He had put this cold distance between us. Sure, he was funny and crappy as usual, but there was this imposing void looming in the room. I wanted him to hold me and tell me it's all just a really bad nightmare...but it isn't and I know I'll have to wake up and smell the garbage.
I am back from class today and I am waiting for my Harry Potter book to arrive. If there was nothing else to look forward to, at least there's Harry Potter. I can immerse myself in an imaginary world for the time it takes to read 600 over pages and not think about the pain of reality for a while. All the little activities have been excursions out of reality, but reality has a horrible way of hitting you in the face when you try to ignore it. When I am with other people, I feel optimistic for a while. I can even joke and laugh, even if it is a boring literature block seminar...but the moment when I'm alone and the silence is deafening, reality re-invades my little dream world and I get all depressed again...negating whatever little shard of optimism that was slowly beginning to develop.
I started reading Harry Potter around the time after I got out of hospital for anorexia. The stories were an escape from reality, if nothing else...it was fun to read about an imaginary world that still seemed kinda real. It was also comforting to know, I guess, that despite having magical powers, it doesn't mean you have control over everything either...and it doesn't mean you'll be happy. So...I guess it kinda puts things into perspective. They are certainly slow in delivering the books today...but maybe that's cos lot of people ordered it and the postmen are slowly making their rounds. I should've ordered it from the bookshop...then I could've just gone to pick it up...but well, Amazon.de is nearly 5 Euro cheaper than the bookstore price! I am just gonna restrain myself from going to bathe or doing the laundry till the book arrives. I need to know that it's safely with me. Haha...so crappy right? So much fuss about nothing...but when something's important to you...
The lit seminar was definitely BORING..well...the first few presentations were just normal and bearable...but the last 2 presentations were LIVING HELL. I swear I was gonna walk out if there had one more slide on that 2nd last presentation. Like some people are so stubborn or exaggerated. It's annoying! Like hello..some stuff is totally NOT important for the presentation. You don't have to give like 1001 examples to prove a point. You can write it all down in your paper. Don't torture the poor people who went all the way to school on the Saturday after school ended! One of the girls was pregnant...she was practically glowing...she looked nice. She also had on this shirt that I thought of buying to match the skirt I bought yesterday when I was out with Angeline. I don't look good in orange, but I think if I wear a black top underneath, it should be fine. This other woman, dunno if she was pregnant, couldn't button the last button on her shirt. It looked a bit tight too. Maybe she's pregnant, or she gained a lot of weight during the exam period. Yes, these are the thoughts that go through my mind when I'm sitting in a boring class.
Yesterday was actually quite nice. I met Angeline at around 10:30 near my place. We took the bus to Prohlis and went shopping! We just walked around looking at shoes at first. Angeline found this pair that was SUPER comfy. But she wasn't so sure about black, cos she thinks it looks too severe against her pale feet. It makes sense really...I never quite thought of it before. So she didn't buy them, but KIVed them. Then we went into Esprit...didn't buy anything there...and then into H&M. We spent a long long time in there. We tried on lots of stuff and looked around for very long. I decided to buy this green skirt, though I don't usually get green stuff much. Green was my favourite colour when I was a kid though...the toilet seat cover in my great grandma's house was changed to green cos I liked the colour. Anyway, I tried it on and I really liked the length and the material...so much so that I paid 19,90 Euro for it. I am really stingy with money, despite my obsession with clothes. $40 is quite a lot to pay, I think. And you know, considering how much I ate in the past 2 days, I might not even be able to fit into this skirt anymore. Angeline bought a lot of stuff...3 skirts, 3 tops and a pair of shorts, I think. It could've been more. It all came up to around 152 Euro. It was fun shopping with her. It's nice to go with someone who has spending power and who doesn't think so very hard before deciding to buy something. I mean, then I don't feel bad for spending money either. After that, we went into one or 2 more shops and decided that it was time to have lunch. We ate at the restaurant there. I had a lot to eat! Hacksteak, baked potato with sour cream, corn and garlic bread. I was so full by the time we were through. We also sat there for quite a while, just talking. Then we went to NewYorker. I couldn't find the skirt I wanted...well, I wanted the white one..and of all things, they only had it in S and L...and for this skirt, I wear M! I mean I usually wear L or XL, so I gave the L a try...it slipped down to my hips...so it was a no go. I've been to 3 NewYorkers already...I will try my luck again in Kassel...if I don't find it, I am not fated to have the skirt. Or I will settle for the purple or green version, but I still like white the most.
When I reached home, it was already like 4.30pm or 5. We were supposed to have dinner at 6pm, but ended up eating after 7. We had beef noodles, chicken rice, gulasch and some other stew like thing. Everyone LOVED the chicken rice. Me too! I ate 2 servings. For dessert, we had fruit salad, cake and watermelon. We were all very full after that! We could hardly even walk. Liu Jian's husband helped us to clean the washing area. I am so grateful to him. The place looks so clean now (well, the floor anyway).
Speaking of food, I am dying to have lunch. Time to call Fu Wei!
I am back from class today and I am waiting for my Harry Potter book to arrive. If there was nothing else to look forward to, at least there's Harry Potter. I can immerse myself in an imaginary world for the time it takes to read 600 over pages and not think about the pain of reality for a while. All the little activities have been excursions out of reality, but reality has a horrible way of hitting you in the face when you try to ignore it. When I am with other people, I feel optimistic for a while. I can even joke and laugh, even if it is a boring literature block seminar...but the moment when I'm alone and the silence is deafening, reality re-invades my little dream world and I get all depressed again...negating whatever little shard of optimism that was slowly beginning to develop.
I started reading Harry Potter around the time after I got out of hospital for anorexia. The stories were an escape from reality, if nothing else...it was fun to read about an imaginary world that still seemed kinda real. It was also comforting to know, I guess, that despite having magical powers, it doesn't mean you have control over everything either...and it doesn't mean you'll be happy. So...I guess it kinda puts things into perspective. They are certainly slow in delivering the books today...but maybe that's cos lot of people ordered it and the postmen are slowly making their rounds. I should've ordered it from the bookshop...then I could've just gone to pick it up...but well, Amazon.de is nearly 5 Euro cheaper than the bookstore price! I am just gonna restrain myself from going to bathe or doing the laundry till the book arrives. I need to know that it's safely with me. Haha...so crappy right? So much fuss about nothing...but when something's important to you...
The lit seminar was definitely BORING..well...the first few presentations were just normal and bearable...but the last 2 presentations were LIVING HELL. I swear I was gonna walk out if there had one more slide on that 2nd last presentation. Like some people are so stubborn or exaggerated. It's annoying! Like hello..some stuff is totally NOT important for the presentation. You don't have to give like 1001 examples to prove a point. You can write it all down in your paper. Don't torture the poor people who went all the way to school on the Saturday after school ended! One of the girls was pregnant...she was practically glowing...she looked nice. She also had on this shirt that I thought of buying to match the skirt I bought yesterday when I was out with Angeline. I don't look good in orange, but I think if I wear a black top underneath, it should be fine. This other woman, dunno if she was pregnant, couldn't button the last button on her shirt. It looked a bit tight too. Maybe she's pregnant, or she gained a lot of weight during the exam period. Yes, these are the thoughts that go through my mind when I'm sitting in a boring class.
Yesterday was actually quite nice. I met Angeline at around 10:30 near my place. We took the bus to Prohlis and went shopping! We just walked around looking at shoes at first. Angeline found this pair that was SUPER comfy. But she wasn't so sure about black, cos she thinks it looks too severe against her pale feet. It makes sense really...I never quite thought of it before. So she didn't buy them, but KIVed them. Then we went into Esprit...didn't buy anything there...and then into H&M. We spent a long long time in there. We tried on lots of stuff and looked around for very long. I decided to buy this green skirt, though I don't usually get green stuff much. Green was my favourite colour when I was a kid though...the toilet seat cover in my great grandma's house was changed to green cos I liked the colour. Anyway, I tried it on and I really liked the length and the material...so much so that I paid 19,90 Euro for it. I am really stingy with money, despite my obsession with clothes. $40 is quite a lot to pay, I think. And you know, considering how much I ate in the past 2 days, I might not even be able to fit into this skirt anymore. Angeline bought a lot of stuff...3 skirts, 3 tops and a pair of shorts, I think. It could've been more. It all came up to around 152 Euro. It was fun shopping with her. It's nice to go with someone who has spending power and who doesn't think so very hard before deciding to buy something. I mean, then I don't feel bad for spending money either. After that, we went into one or 2 more shops and decided that it was time to have lunch. We ate at the restaurant there. I had a lot to eat! Hacksteak, baked potato with sour cream, corn and garlic bread. I was so full by the time we were through. We also sat there for quite a while, just talking. Then we went to NewYorker. I couldn't find the skirt I wanted...well, I wanted the white one..and of all things, they only had it in S and L...and for this skirt, I wear M! I mean I usually wear L or XL, so I gave the L a try...it slipped down to my hips...so it was a no go. I've been to 3 NewYorkers already...I will try my luck again in Kassel...if I don't find it, I am not fated to have the skirt. Or I will settle for the purple or green version, but I still like white the most.
When I reached home, it was already like 4.30pm or 5. We were supposed to have dinner at 6pm, but ended up eating after 7. We had beef noodles, chicken rice, gulasch and some other stew like thing. Everyone LOVED the chicken rice. Me too! I ate 2 servings. For dessert, we had fruit salad, cake and watermelon. We were all very full after that! We could hardly even walk. Liu Jian's husband helped us to clean the washing area. I am so grateful to him. The place looks so clean now (well, the floor anyway).
Speaking of food, I am dying to have lunch. Time to call Fu Wei!
posted by Samantha @ 11:44 am
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