Never ever underestimate the power of a misunderstanding. If the people involved don't take time out to explain themselves, it's gonna fester into a horrible pus-filled wound. Excuse the failed analogy.
Max did call yesterday after all. He said he wanted to come over, but somehow I didn't think he sounded very enthusiastic. Anyway, he was an hour late, but I'm kinda used to it already. We went to collect my DVDs from my ex-neighbour first...then, it seemed kind of weird. Suddenly, he blurted out, "We have to talk." I thought only girls used this line, but ok...then he said, "I think you're too complicated." Hmm. I had to take a deep breath so I wouldn't cry or strangle him. Then he told me other things, like how he feels pressured and all that. About how he feels I want to spend every second of my free time with him and he's not ready for that...that he needs his own space. Then after saying all this, he added, "and I don't want to break up with you". "That's a surprise", I said. It appeared to be going in that direction. He said that if he wanted to, he would say it straight out. But if I wanted to break up with him, it'd be ok as well. I can imagine what his speech would be like if he did want to break up: "Sam, you are the nicest, most beautiful girl in the world. But we have to break up." Haha.
Well, then I explained to him that it would be nice to spend more time with him...but it's like a hypothetical situation and that I am perfectly happy seeing him twice a week. I also told him that I'm also a person who needs my own space...just that this semester, it seems I've gotten too much of my own space..so he was the the receiving end of my desire to spend time with other human beings. But ok, I can totally understand now. He said he thought it was difficult to talk to me about serious stuff cos I'd cry..so he couldn't go on talking about it. And I told him I thought it was difficult to talk to him because everytime we talked about something serious, he'd want to change the subject. Then I think we kinda realised how silly we both were. Then I asked, "But why do you want a girlfriend if you need so much time for yourself?" He replied, "I don't want a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend. I want to be together with you." Gosh...that's like the most romantic thing he has ever said and will probably ever say to me...so I'd better remember it well. Then he gave me a hug and said, "Lass uns neu anfangen"...ok, I admit I am lousy at translation...so I shall just leave this last sentence in original.
Anyway, now after thinking about it, there were definitely things that I could've done better and things I shouldn't have done. It's always good to talk things out...you often come to many new realisations. The only problem is how to start I guess...even after Max said, "We have to talk", his next line was "I don't know where to start". I probably would've said the same thing. But once it gets going, it gets easier.
To be honest, Max and I have never really argued before. It's more like if there's a conflict, it's usually a misunderstanding that we can clear up by talking about our intentions and feelings. That's actually quite good. I don't wanna fall back into the same pattern: get together before the hols, break up before the end of the semester and find a new guy. I don't wanna find a new guy...I like Max just fine.
Ok, should stop talking about him...makes him sound like he's in only thing in my life, but that's not true either.
Have to start studying for exams soon. Not much time to actually...only have 2 weeks! I am so gonna die. I have to pass Swedish by hook or by crook (with the exception of cheating) and this other exam...one of them I don't need the credits for...so it doesn't matter really. Have a presentation too...but I didn't get to the crux of the topic...so I am very annoyed with myself. There are also other papers and homework due...yet, I am hardly in the studying mood. I have to start somewhere though...
Thanks Kheng Hui for the Arnold Schwarzenegger postcard. It was a real surprise to see his face..haha. Glad you wrote to me as promised.
Ok, gotta write a letter to my aunt, then I have to start on the homework.
Max did call yesterday after all. He said he wanted to come over, but somehow I didn't think he sounded very enthusiastic. Anyway, he was an hour late, but I'm kinda used to it already. We went to collect my DVDs from my ex-neighbour first...then, it seemed kind of weird. Suddenly, he blurted out, "We have to talk." I thought only girls used this line, but ok...then he said, "I think you're too complicated." Hmm. I had to take a deep breath so I wouldn't cry or strangle him. Then he told me other things, like how he feels pressured and all that. About how he feels I want to spend every second of my free time with him and he's not ready for that...that he needs his own space. Then after saying all this, he added, "and I don't want to break up with you". "That's a surprise", I said. It appeared to be going in that direction. He said that if he wanted to, he would say it straight out. But if I wanted to break up with him, it'd be ok as well. I can imagine what his speech would be like if he did want to break up: "Sam, you are the nicest, most beautiful girl in the world. But we have to break up." Haha.
Well, then I explained to him that it would be nice to spend more time with him...but it's like a hypothetical situation and that I am perfectly happy seeing him twice a week. I also told him that I'm also a person who needs my own space...just that this semester, it seems I've gotten too much of my own space..so he was the the receiving end of my desire to spend time with other human beings. But ok, I can totally understand now. He said he thought it was difficult to talk to me about serious stuff cos I'd cry..so he couldn't go on talking about it. And I told him I thought it was difficult to talk to him because everytime we talked about something serious, he'd want to change the subject. Then I think we kinda realised how silly we both were. Then I asked, "But why do you want a girlfriend if you need so much time for yourself?" He replied, "I don't want a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend. I want to be together with you." Gosh...that's like the most romantic thing he has ever said and will probably ever say to me...so I'd better remember it well. Then he gave me a hug and said, "Lass uns neu anfangen"...ok, I admit I am lousy at translation...so I shall just leave this last sentence in original.
Anyway, now after thinking about it, there were definitely things that I could've done better and things I shouldn't have done. It's always good to talk things out...you often come to many new realisations. The only problem is how to start I guess...even after Max said, "We have to talk", his next line was "I don't know where to start". I probably would've said the same thing. But once it gets going, it gets easier.
To be honest, Max and I have never really argued before. It's more like if there's a conflict, it's usually a misunderstanding that we can clear up by talking about our intentions and feelings. That's actually quite good. I don't wanna fall back into the same pattern: get together before the hols, break up before the end of the semester and find a new guy. I don't wanna find a new guy...I like Max just fine.
Ok, should stop talking about him...makes him sound like he's in only thing in my life, but that's not true either.
Have to start studying for exams soon. Not much time to actually...only have 2 weeks! I am so gonna die. I have to pass Swedish by hook or by crook (with the exception of cheating) and this other exam...one of them I don't need the credits for...so it doesn't matter really. Have a presentation too...but I didn't get to the crux of the topic...so I am very annoyed with myself. There are also other papers and homework due...yet, I am hardly in the studying mood. I have to start somewhere though...
Thanks Kheng Hui for the Arnold Schwarzenegger postcard. It was a real surprise to see his face..haha. Glad you wrote to me as promised.
Ok, gotta write a letter to my aunt, then I have to start on the homework.
posted by Samantha @ 10:53 am
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