Life...and other afflictions

The rantings and uninteresting events of my life

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Yesterday was a loooooong day...but I'm not going to complain. It was definitely a whole lot better than Thursday...I was bored to death on Thursday...so much so that I even decided to SMS the guy I met at the party and ask him to teach me and Fu Wei how to cook Spanish food. He said he was going to Poland this weekend but maybe we can meet next week and I should get my fork ready...haha...oh well, that was some amusement for a while.

Anyway, my Friday began at 4.45am...I nearly didn't wanna wake up...but I know that I often make things out to be worse than they are...and I know I'd feel good after swimming, even if I feel like shit when I have to wake up.

This time, Fu Wei didn't forget anything..yay! And as we were walking from Postplatz to the Schwimmhalle, I saw a huge banner for "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?" and it said "TODAY". I told Fu Wei, "OH!!! I have to go for that! I'll go home and check if I can still get tickets online or something." This play totally spoke to me when we did it for Lit in NJC. Well, it really did take a while for me to like it, but at the end, after reading it for myself a few times, I really grew to like it. For one of our common tests, we had the question "Is hatred a form of love" or something to that effect and I really had fun answering it...I may not be a genius lit critic, but it was a very nice topic to deal with because I can identify with it to some extent.

This is my favourite part of the play, when Martha says, "I disgust me. You know, there's only been one man in my whole life who's ever made me happy. Do you know that?...George, my husband...George, who is out somewhere there in the dark, who is good to me - whom I revile, who can keep learning the games we play as quickly as I can change them. Who can make me happy and I do not wish to be happy. Yes, I do wish to be happy. George and Martha: Sad, sad, sad...Whom I will not forgive for having come to rest; for having seen me and having said: yes, this will do; who has made the hideous, the hurting, the insulting mistake of loving me and must be punished for it. George and Martha: Sad, sad, sad...Some day, hah! Some night, some stupid, liquor-ridden night, I will go too far and I'll either break the man's back or I'll push him off for good which is what I deserve."

It's the verbalisation of what many of us do unconsciously. We hate ourselves for whatever reason...and when someone loves us, the us that we detest, we treat him/her badly and do all sorts of stupid things...to test if they really love us, because it's so hard to believe anyone would make the mistake of loving what we deem worthless. Or another way of seeing it, anyone who is stupid enough to fall in love with the unloveable deserves to suffer. I guess it's cynicism...and it results in self-sabotage. It's such a vicious cycle. How do we break out of it? It all starts with our poor self-image...which of course, can be caused by a myriad of factors. But I think this is a good explanation why we tend to long for those we can't have and despise those who try to love us. I'm not saying this happens to everyone...it doesn't. But to those who find themselves in destructive relationship after destructive relationship, this might be why.

So, this is WHY I had to go for the play. I needed to see how they'd interpret this. I didn't quite like the movie version with Liz Taylor and Richard Burton...but maybe it's just me. Also, I've never been to the Schauspielhaus in Dresden, so I was interested in taking a look. Will get back to this topic later.

Swimming was tiring. I just can't get my breaststroke right...I have no idea why...and then I tried Backstroke...which was somehow different...I think I swam a fair bit faster than usual, cos I was DEAD tired after only 2 laps. Yes...after 2 laps. It definitely felt shorter than usual..but I ended up taking longer breaks...so not exactly very productive or what lah...but I felt for the first time in a long time, what it's like to push yourself. When your heart beats a whole lot faster and your breathing speeds up. Oh well, it's back to practicing again next week. I was worrying that I'd get muscle aches the day after though...I prefer the German term: "Muskelkater". It's tough when you have 2 sport sessions in a day, especially when you don't do any sport during the rest of the week...but I simply can't fit it into my schedule otherwise.

Went home and dunno what I did, but time passed pretty quickly. Ah yeah...I bought my ticket for the play online and tried to figure out when to collect the ticket and how to get to Postplatz (all the construction work being done in Dresden means that you have to change trams/buses quite often).

Then I went for my Contemporary Indian Cinema seminar...we watched bits of an older film with Amitabh Bachchan: "Deewar"...and we talked about national cinemas and about the interesting "Lebenslauf" of Amitbabh Bachchan...about how the characters he played changed from "angry young man" to "wise old man"...and how he has amazing charisma and has saved some of the brands he endorses in India...and he was BBC's film star of the millenium. Amazing eh? You should see the list of his filmography.

Then, I rushed home, ate 2 Schokobrötchen and then rushed to Postplatz to collect my tickets so that I didn't have to worry about it later. Then I went for tennis...was a bit early, but not too bad. We started not long after. This time we didn't have the horrible running and other crappy warm up activities...we just hit the ball to each other in pairs and went around the 2 courts. I think it went way better this week. But, we had to play with a stupid ball machine...and the coach, Florian, set it to be "unpredictable"...and I hated it because while I may not be an expert, I can see from a person's movement and stuff where the ball is probably going to come...but with a machine, I can't tell...and since I am not a fast runner, I need that "hint". Blah...so I missed a lot of the balls. But then we got to play with the coach too, after a couple more rounds with the ball machine. We got divided into two groups of 4. It was the girls and the guys plus Katharin. Haha...anyway, it got way better after we got to play with the coach. However, since he was standing where I was technically suppose to hit the ball, he nearly got hit quite a few times. Fortunately, he's not that tall and he can move very fast. And sometimes, he forgot and gave me a ball to my backhand (right hander's forehand)...and it took a while, but I finally got used to switching to the backhand grip even without being really prepared for it.

Then we had this pretty fun but difficult game. I won't bother to explain too much...the coach hits the ball over to the opposing service line and members of the team hit it back to the one member of the team who stands on the same side as the coach and he/she will have to hit it back within the service box directly facing him/her. When it was my turn, it was tougher..firstly, I can't control my forehand very well...I somehow tend to hit everything to the baseline, even if I am supposed to aim for the service line. But since all the other members of my team are right-handed, I ended up hitting backhand shots most of the time...even though we haven't technically learnt it.

At the end of it, the coach was like "Oh, next week we will begin with the backhand, but there are apparently some experts here who can already play with the backhand and even better than with the forehand at that!" OOPS...haha. Well, aiming for the service line with a backhand is easier cos my movements are kinda more limited. I don't know if I can aim for the baseline with my backhand.

After spraying water on the court (we play on clay courts), I got clay all over me, so I had to wash it off...then I went to Prohlis with Fu Wei to collect my photos. It cost over 22 euros! :( They are so dumb...they had this special offer a while ago, but their system hadn't been updated, so I got shown 11 something euros...but had to pay the 22 euros... ugh. But what to do? Just have to pay right? Then we practically ran through KaufMarkt...I bought some stuff, but not much...then Fu Wei bought Milchreis and I bought a hazelnut Magnum...and we ate it at the bus stop. I might be wrong but some guy was staring at us from his car...cos the traffic light took a pretty long time. I usually don't notice if pple stare or anything, but this guy was being quite...obvious. Maybe it was my top...it said 'So many boys, so little time". Haha...nah...I doubt he could read it.

Then, rushed home, changed...had to wear my boots cos I have no nice shoes. I finally understand why models get paid so much. They definitely should have to be compensated for all that torture. I cannot wear heels to save my life. Ugh...and I didn't even have to walk THAT much...only to the bus stop and to the theatre and so. I really need to find a job where I can wear comfortable shoes.

Ok, it was funny cos most of the pple there were over 50...and mostly couples. But I am shameless...so I didn't feel bad. At least I wasn't dressed in t-shirt and shorts like most of the younger lot who were there. Ok, so what did I think of the play? Well, I remembered quite a few of the lines...especially the essential bits. So it was interesting to hear them in German. I loved Martha's dress...the one she wore to the party. It's a pretty white dress with crazy dots. But I think there was way more nudity in this play than called for in the stage directions...there was one scene where Honey stripped all the way down to her panties...and danced around like a maniac. I'm beginning to get used to seeing naked people, but it was just so weird cos I really didn't think she had to be naked for this part. It didn't make much sense...unless it's supposed to be symbolic of her being vulnerable or something like that. But still, it's not necessary. And there was a lot of water used in the play..interesting...but a bit wasted lah. Overall though, I liked the play...though Martha said my favourite lines a little too softly. It was worth the money...and the theatre is actually quite nice on the inside. Fu Wei and I might go and watch "Kabale und Liebe" by Friedrich Schiller. Sounds quite interesting actually. I hope we do go.

Anyway, I got back at around 10.30pm...and was super hungry. Thankfully, Fu Wei had cooked soup, so I gladly drank 2 bowls and ate most of the meat. Then, I went to sleep at around midnight...but woke up at 5.30 this morning...aiyoh...I wanted to sleep longer leh...

Well, it's lunchtime now...have to work on my translation and homework after that.

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