YAY!!!! I have completed my paper. I've been staring at it since Wednesday...and the countless headaches I've suffered...and the disturbed sleep...and the frustration...all of it is OVER!!! Like how awful is it to get your period while you are writing your paper?? Cramp attacks and everything. However, at least it made me feel less like I as missing out on anything at all. But seriously, I was dead stuck for the first couple of days...I thought I could finish a paper like this in 2 days..turns out that I needed 3-4 days to consolidate my thoughts...it felt soooo awful really...felt like mental constipation. Ugh. But I thank Guojun, Ranjini and Christine for helping me...listening to me complain and complain and complain about it until I found some kind of way of linking everything. It is not the best paper I have ever written, but at least I've gotten it off my chest and into the inbox of my prof. It's probably also the first time I've actually stuck to my page limit (ok, second part was about a quarter page over the limit..but hey, it's a vast improvement for someone who writes 22 pages for a 12 page paper!) I am totally over the moon right now! And the prof sent quite a cute reply..as in, he said "Thanks for the warm remarks"..haha...he's soo nice! I'll miss him!

After finishing the paper, I went to shower...ah!! That felt so good! Not that I haven't showered in days or whatever, mind you...just that I decided to postpone my usual morning shower until I finished the paper...cos I woke up pretty early this morning, not able to sleep anymore..itching to finish the paper. And I managed to finish it by lunch time...phew!! I felt fantastic! Now I just have that project that Mai and I are working on..but Mai wants to work on it together with me, so I don't have to rush...since it means we'll only work on most of it in October...but still I wanna do some of the stuff so that it won't be too much when I get back.

Well, actually, I have a whole ton of things to do, like collect my Czech results, revise Czech and Swedish, read my Klinsmann books, my Chinese novel (the English version), clean the Waschraum and my room, do laundry, iron, vacuum the floor, get rid of clothes I don't want anymore. But today, I'll just take it slow...my eyes can't take it anymore anyway...

Can't wait for tmr...and Monday!

Arrggghh...I am so freaking frustrated!!! I hate this topic..I nearly want to throw in the towel man! I am trying so hard to make totally isolated facts link together...it's like trying to make magnets with the same poles facing each other to attract. The whole paper sounds damn contrived and I am so annoyed with it. It is definitely not going to be a good paper...and I am way behind in my schedule. Wanted to finish Part A by today, but it's really not going very well at the moment. Am having writer's block.

I am going crazy. I am writing Part A in such a way that I can use FIRE (the film) for Part B because I don't want to have to watch another film.

I don't know how long India was a British colony. I am sick of sifting through all the articles and my eyes are hurting like mad from staring at the screen the whole day. I just cannot force myself to trying to string irrelevant facts together. I am such a stickler for the logical flow of thought..

BLAH!!!

Ok, I give up..I think I'll just have to be a lot more realistic and finish the last part about the influences of Western culture tomorrow. In fact, I haven't even decided if that is really the most suitable subheading for this section. But I don't think I can write much more today anyway...will just have to try and finish the next 2-3 pages in this section tomorrow before lunch...i.e. about 2 hours for one page...and start on the next section after lunch. And hopefully, I will finish everything by Sunday. I have to hand it in by Tuesday..latest, so I have no choice really...and Jas is coming on Monday...so by hook or by crook, I have to settle all of this.

But ok, I'm tired of talking about stuff that annoys me..so let me talk about something better. Something that makes me happy. I'm in love...yeah, I know...I don't usually talk about this stuff, but this time, it has really hit me hard. Despite what everyone says about opposites attracting, I think for a relationship to really work out, you do have to have some major similarities..and I am beginning to wonder, how on earth did I ever get so lucky? Ok, I admit I ended up paying 24,95 Euro to get to chat with him, but I think it's money well spent. Honestly, I am usually cautious and sceptical about relationships and I haven't actually got a single romantic fibre in my body...but this guy has turned me into a totally silly girl...I think because he's so open about his feelings and doesn't play any stupid games with me. He really makes me so happy...that I even wonder if it's too good to be true...but I think he's really sincere and honest, so I think he will be honest when he is not interested anymore. Probably the only bad thing at the moment is that he doesn't live here in Dresden...but at least it's also only 50km away...so like Kevin said, it's a "middle distance relationship". Ok, and I will also be going back to Singapore on 28th August and staying there for a month...but hey, I just wanna enjoy every moment I can spend with him right now. Have to wait till next weekend, cos he's busy this weekend and has to go back to work next week..how to survive? At least he likes chatting on MSN too..and thank goodness we have this new, stable network...so I can be online anytime. Maybe things do get better...each relationship has taught me something...yes, sometimes you really shouldn't settle for less...waiting an entire year has paid off for me. But maybe I am just really lucky to find someone I like so much and who seems to like me back. I am on cloud 9...there's no denying that. Actually, it's all happened really quickly...I know there are some people who are kinda surprised...well, I am surprised too...but maybe when you find someone really good, you shouldn't wait that long. I'm just sooo happy :)

Ok, will think about my paper again tomorrow...cannot stare at the computer anymore...