It's only the second week of uni and already I feel like killing myself...I wonder if I've ever felt like this before. Well, don't worry, I'd never really kill myself...it's just this feeling that I am gonna collapse from the stress soon.

Firstly, the timetable saga continued right until the end of last week. Had to sign up for 2 DaF seminars..on Thursday at 14:30. I was there at 13:45 and there were more than 30 people there...and rumour has it that the first person was there at NINE f-ing AM!!!! And you think Singaporeans are kiasu? There were only 25 places in each seminar...so in other words, people who came later didn't know if they'd get a place even if they decided to wait. To her credit, the lecturer decided to start earlier..so that we didn't have to wait till exactly 14:30. The corridor in Zeunerstr. 1b was "gerammelt voll" as they would say in German...and mind you, there are no windows there...only doors to the offices. Zeunerstr. buildings are actually BARRACKS...yes, you heard me... B-A-R-R-A-C-K-S...no wonder some people say the language faculty is the dumping ground of the university. SOOOOO...anyway...it was hot, stuffy and crowded in the corridor..and we were all waiting without the certainty of getting a place in the seminars. Still, I decided it was worth a try...and I managed to get a place in ONE seminar...which is, immerhin, better than nothing. But since I didn't get the second one, I had to rethink my possibilities, for like the millionth time in the past 2 weeks. I'm just soooo tired of all this thinking and having to think and rearrange everything. I had to go change my swimming because the seminar I chose to replace the seminar I couldn't get clashes with the swimming slot I signed up for.

So I went to change my swimming slot on Monday, when I went for tennis. The only thing stil available was Friday 6am. Well, actually it was already full, but the guy in charge said since I already paid, he would give me the place. But SHIT...6am in winter...I don't know how long I can keep up with this.

Tennis was damn sucky. DAMN SUCKY. Firstly, we play on a parquet floor...which means the balls fly super fast. But the worst thing about the whole affair is the coach. The coach is W.B., an old man who does not really give instructions or act like a coach should act. He spent like forever talking about Hausordnung and changing rooms and whatever crap. And then, we had to play basketball for 10 minutes...firstly, if I had wanted to play basketball, I would've joined basketball. Secondly, basketball is like THE sport I absolutely HATE the MOST..if there are sports which I hate, they are 1. Basketball and 2. Volleyball. Sure, I suck at all team sports...but these 2 I positively HATE with ALL my guts.

After that, we spent eons doing drills..hate that too, because I somehow have no hand-eye coordination...so I always miss everything. He thought I sucked...well I guess I don't blame him for that, but he kept disappearing and not helping us...then we had to spend EONS playing against the wall. My thoughts were 1) If I had wanted to play against a wall, I would've stayed at home and not spend my Mondays running from home to the silly ULU sport hall and then to Essay Writing Class on the other end of campus...AND 2) If I had wanted to play against a wall, I would've joined SQUASH instead. And the walls are made of wood panels..like HOW on EARTH can you predict where the ball is going to come? Plus, the balls keep getting lower and lower. The f-ing a-hole said: "Now now...we want to hit the ball and have it come back to us at least 5 times in a row."

I was really to whack his head with the racquet...I was really fuming by then. Then, he totally made my day by "allowing" me to play with the ball machine...I HATE the ball machine...why? Because I can "read" people...I can tell by their movements more or less where the ball is going to come...even if I am too lazy to run to the ball...but I can't read a machine...and I wanted to play against people...if I wanted to play with a ball machine, I would've bought one. Suffice to say, I wasn't exactly thrilled. If I wasn't so desperate for a chance to play, I would've thrown in the towel a long time ago.

Sorry for all the bad words...I'm just soooo stressed out now...I feel like I am headed for a nervous breakdown soon. Firstly, a whole bunch of my Scheine from last semester are missing...and I have no idea if they are ever going to show up. I am sick of going to the Sekretariat to keep asking for my Scheine...it takes a lot of effort to bear in mind all the different office hours of the different Sekretariate and to walk all the way up to Zeunerstr. when I don't have a class there.

Secondly, I feel like a good-for-nothing. I understand maybe 5% of what's going on in Czech and Swedish class...like where the hell have I been in the last 1 1/2 years? Am I really so useless and stupid? How come everyone else can rattle off complicated sentences when I can't even produce simple sentences? I suck at sport, I suck at languages...is there ANYTHING I'm good at? As dumb as it sounds, these 2-3 weeks have been a major ego-bashing session for me. I keep finding things I'm bad at...even things I thought I was ok at (not good, but at least not bad enough to be embarrassed)...sigh..I SUCK! I'm sooooo frustrated...and I don't know what to do..but I don't actually have the luxury of thinking about this, because I'm actually supposed to be doing my homework. Tja...