It's Christmas in Singapore already! But it's still Christmas Eve here. Cannot open my presents yet :(.

I just baked a chocolate-pear cake. It took a LOT longer than usual to bake cos the pears contain a lot of moisture, which slowed down the baking process..or more precisely, the drying out process. But it tastes pretty good...I wish I had ice cream to eat it with...though it's more pear than cake...but oooh so moist! Yummy! *grin* And it's ALL MINE! Actually, it's the one of the benefits of being alone...if something is good, you can have it all. But I will probably give some to anyone who's around...this hostel is like a ghosttown.

I went to town this morning, cos I know I'm gonna be staying home the next two days. Need to safeguard myself from cabin fever...I don't wanna get all depressed. There weren't many people on the streets and it was windy and cold, but I was happy.

I went to the Christmas Market for the last time...and heard some Christmas songs. Walked down the lanes, but didn't buy anything, cos I wasn't feeling hungry at all, strangely enough. And in any case, the stuff isn't very cheap. But it was really nice, the atmosphere and all. Lots of families with children...really cute children (I only like children who don't belong to me)...I went to C&A as well. Tried on a dress. Quite pretty, but the sequins are pokey...and besides, I just found out that I'll have to pay 102 Euros for accommodation alone on my Austria trip. And about 120 Euro for travelling there. And transport within the cities, probably 60-80 Euro...this trip is gonna cost more than I thought. Sigh. I cannot buy anything anything apart from food and postcards. I'm like a lot more extravagant that I realised. Maybe it really should be my New Year's Resolution to spend less. Especially on clothes. I have a whole bunch of stuff in my closet I haven't even worn yet. Have to learn to think more carefully before I buy stuff..like today, I was thinking if I should buy a handmixer. I'd bought one a week ago to give to Fu Wei. And I mean this seems a bit mercenary, but neither she nor I need one all too often..I mean at the most, twice a month...so what's the point of having two? I mean I could've kept it for myself and lent it to her (but I've never really seen her bake stuff on her own, except twice) but since she wanted it for Christmas...well...but I really don't see any point in getting one for myself now...I'll just borrow when I need...and I really cannot even imagine using it more than once a month...if I have survived 2 1/2 years without it, I can probably survive another 2 1/2 without...I mean I can always borrow...or make things that don't require any mixer. I've always done stuff by hand anyway...the only things that need a mixer are whipped cream, sponge cakes and meringue. I mean other things don't depend on this majorly good whisking in order to rise well.

Haha...I can't believe I'm philosophising about a handmixer on Christmas Eve. I must be very bored.

This year's Christmas Eve is really different from last year's. I just got a really short email from Max which just said "Merry Christmas" and didn't even have my name on it. I suppose he sent a generic one to everyone he knows. But it reminded me of last Christmas Eve, when he called me and I was actually quite surprised, because it was the first time he'd called me...one month after getting my phone number...and this call got me into trouble with Li Yu. Haha...oh boy...how things have changed within a year. Ah well...what's the point of dwelling on the past? We're all living in the present.

There are many things to be sad about...but honestly, what's the point? Why don't we just concentrate on the things that make us happy? I'm planning to. Being sad is very very tiring.

Merry Christmas everyone!

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly. You tend to dream big, but you worry that your dreams aren't attainable.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Your 2005 Song Is

Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day "My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating" In 2005, you bummed everyone out. Like you care.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Well, it's the night before Christmas Eve and I'm bored...I need to multi-task. I'm watching Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets on ZDF at the same time...their German voices sound funny!

It's 2 days to Christmas eve...and while I think everything's beautiful and all, I'm a bit sad knowing that I will be spending Christmas alone. It's not really my first Christmas alone...during the first Christmas I spent in Germany...well, I watched "Xi Jie Shao Nian" VCDs the whole day...and last year, I spent Christmas arguing with my ex because of a phone call and my impending trip to Krakau. But at least I wasn't alone. Holidays can either be great or depressing. To be totally honest, I'm not depressed. I know I can handle Christmas alone..it's just a little sad. I'm just a little scared...I mean what if I have to spend many more Christmasses alone? What will it be like when I'm 50. Will I be alone? Like most other people, I wish for a loving family...most of all at Christmas time. I mean sure, I need lots of alone time sometimes, but there's gotta be situations where I get to come out of my hole in the sand.

Still I have to count my blessings! :)

Angeline is flying back to Singapore tomorrow...and when she comes back, she'll be working in the south of Germany...so I won't get to see her for a long time and her husband's contract in Freiberg is running out soon anyway, so if she's in Dresden, it'll only be for a holiday. I'm glad I got to meet her on Monday, even if I skipped Czech class to do it. I'll miss her!

I got to meet up with Steffi today...and we went to the Weihnachtsmarkt. After that, we went shopping for toiletries...I love it! There were so many things I wanted to buy, but I decided to stop hoarding stuff like my dad. I'll only buy stuff when I need it. I bought toilet paper though...haha...cos it takes up so much space usually, so I cannot buy it when I do my usual grocery shopping. We also had ice cream...I was so happy! Have been wanting to eat ice cream for a while, but everyone keeps telling me it's too cold for it. Heh. Then we went to watch the Jennifer Aniston movie with Kevin Costner and Mark Raffalo..Wo die Liebe hinfällt...it wasn't too great, but Jennifer Aniston is pretty...I love her hair! Well, then I'll only get to see Steffi sometime next year, cos she's leaving Dresden on 3rd Jan, the day I come back from Vienna. Oh well...I hope our plans to visit Scotland next year will work out. :)

Liu Jian's back in Germany too, but she's visiting her husband in Bamberg...so she's not coming back to Dresden. She sent me a postcard from Georgia and I managed to talk to her online today...so it's good. She's looking forward to coming back to Dresden next year...:)

I even got to talk to Suyeon, who's now in Wittenherdecke (somewhere near Cologne and Düsseldorf). I haven't spoken to her in eons. She's in Paris and will be going to visit her boyfriend in Berlin soon.

It's so nice to catch up with people you haven't seen or heard from in a while.

And I've got a couple of presents which I can open on Christmas Day...even though they are not from my family, I'm happy. Steffi and her family have given me 2 presents, and I have some from my former landlady too...boy, it'll be great! I'm really looking forward to Christmas...and I'll cook myself something nice as well.

So I guess, it's not all that bad after all (except for the CRAP homework we have)...and I will be going to Salzburg and Vienna soon...

It's good to count your blessings :)

Amazing how quickly time flies by these days. It's barely a few days to Christmas, and I used to think it would take forever. Now it seems really, that life is but a fleeting moment in the whole scheme of things and I ask myself..is the whole point in life just to live a life without regrets so that you can come to terms with death when your time comes? Is there ever a "right" time to die? Part of these thoughts were sparked off by watching "Meet Joe Black". I mean the movie is not exactly easy to understand, but it made me think...how do you live a life like the Anthony Hopkins character? A life which is so meaningful that dying seems nothing more than walking over a bridge (sorry, I just thought that scene was super euphemistic). I'm fully aware of human mortality. But some of the tragic circumstances in which life is taken away disturbs me. This part I attribute to terrorist attacks, car accidents, wars, natural disasters, murders etc. This is why I hate watching the news. I'm sick of hearing about all this tragedy. I know when your time is up, there's no way to change anything. So how do you ensure that if your life is taken away from you at any moment, you will not be filled with regret, or afraid to die. Of course, people are generally at least a little afraid of death, since it's unknown territory...more unknown to people than anything else. Which makes me wonder...what makes people so desperate that they can risk their lives for it? This question was sparked off by the Stasi exhibition in Berlin, as well as the Checkpoint Charlie Museum, where you see photos of East Germans who tried all ways and means to escape into West Berlin. Some attempts ended tragically and dramatically. But I guess, there really are no answers to these questions. Instead of spending your whole life trying to find the meaning of life, I think you should just live it. Even if none of the stuff you do in this life will be remembered in the next.

Ok, that was an unusually philosophical piece. Anyway, I will be working on my Lit paper for the whole of today, once I've completed this entry. I'm going out on Monday and I haven't done anything the rest of this weekend, and I have to have it ready by 9am on Wednesday morning. It will be quite a challenge, but I'll have to do it, by hook or by crook, because I have a ton of other stuff to do over the next few weeks. I'm gonna have to be disciplined and determined. I'm trying to spend less time online too...not just during this Hausarbeit, but in general. I don't wanna be a net addict.

As I said, this week flew by. I don't remember where Monday went...and on Tuesday, I remember having the most boring-est (pardon the double superlative) seminar ever..I don't understand how someone so pretty can be so *yawn* BORING *yawn*. And she really gives us a ton of homework...apart from the other stuff we have to do at the end of the class. We sang Christmas songs during Swedish...and even danced...and walked down a corridor singing...everyone thought it was kinda dumb at first, but we all participated and I think everyone enjoyed themselves in the end..though I still have no idea how the words go.

Oh, then I had to teach on Wednesday...it was a revision lesson, which was quite cool. I enjoyed myself, though the stuff we were covering was basically nothing new. I gave them tips on how to pronounce the letters of the alphabet and we played Hangman too. There were some slip ups, but nothing too bad.

Yuhan came on Thursday...I ponned Czech class, partly cos her train was delayed, but mostly cos I was too lazy to go anyway. We went to the usual sights, like Kunsthof Passage and the Weihnachtsmarkt and the Altstadt. But the weather was awful! The wind was so strong that we felt like we were being blown away, literally! And it kept raining intermittenly. Still, we got a lot of good food and it was great! We came back home earlier, cos of the weather and also cos we were tired. We baked chocolate and raisin cookies! And ate them as we watched "Meet Joe Black". We also planned our trip to Berlin.

The next morning, we woke up pretty early and went to Berlin. We went to the Brandenburger Tor (Brandenburg Gate) and the Reichstag first...the sky was gorgeous over there!


Then we decided to look for something to eat, cos we had breakfast very early. I had Currywurst mit Pommes...it's a very Berlin thing. :) The wind was so strong that we decided to eat inside a shopping mall. After that, we went in search of the Stasi exhibition. It wasn't a very big one, but it definitely kept us occupied for quite long. There was a lot of stuff to read, so our eyes got very tired. In any case, the exhibition was quite amazing...it's awesome where they put their hidden cameras and listening devices.

But our eyes and brains needed a break, so we went to Ku'damm and went shopping. Ok, I went shopping..haha. I didn't buy anything except in Orsay and C&A though. I'm beginning to like Orsay clothes. There was this skirt I tried on..it was so gorgeous! I fell in love with it immediately...but it costs 39,90 Euro...so it's way too expensive! I guess I'll wait for a sale. I also really liked a pair of boots in H&M, but they also cost 39,90, so I didn't buy them either. :( I did buy 2 tops from Orsay..one black and one purple. The saleslady in Orsay was giving fashion advice...it was quite interesting. In any case, I am happy with what I bought. :) I bought a t-shirt from C&A and that was it.

Then we went to the Weihnachtsmarkt around the Kaiser Wilhelm-Gedächtniskirche. I ate a Fleischspieß, which tasted a bit like otar for a while :). I miss otar!! It started snowing there..but it was light snow, so it was pretty! I bought a new hat on Yuhan's advice, cos it looked like it was going to get colder.

We were really tired by then, so we decided to go look for our hotel pension. We had to walk quite far from the U-Bahn Station, but it was ok...it looked kinda foreboding though, because the light infront of the "display" window was neon green. What a colour to complete the dodgy look of the place! But in the end, it was quite like the place Rachel and I stay in in Leipzig. The room was huge! The toilets were pretty modern too. The guy at the reception was funny. He asked us what time we wanted breakfast..we said 7.30am and he said, breakfast starts at 8..haha..he could've told us first man...aiyoh.

The next day's breakfast wasn't too bad, even though it wasn't a buffet. We ate all 8 slices of bread, 3 portions of jam, 3 pieces of cheese, 1 piece of butter, 2 eggs, 2 yoghurts and tea. Haha...had to make it worth our while.

We walked to Checkpoint Charlie after that, cos we wanted to save on the ticket. But anyway, it seems the museum has grown bigger since i was there in 2001. We spent at least 2 1/2 hours there...then we had to rush to catch our train. While sitting in the train, it began to snow...and as we travelled closer and closer to Dresden, the snow got thicker and thicker! It was a really THICK blanket of snow. I told Yuhan that it probably wouldn't be snowing in Dresden, cos big cities usually get less snow. But, the snow was THICK and the wind was blowing snow into our faces. But at this point, the snow was still thick and fluffy, which was quite nice and I got pretty excited. But it was practically a snow storm!

We quickly started packing my room and cooking, because Yuhan's friend was coming over for dinner. I made vegetable couscous and Yuhan helped me a lot of cutting everything. We managed to get the food ready just as Pavlina arrived. It was pretty good! And we finished all of it. We had cake for dessert. We wanted to make it from scratch, but we just didn't have the time to do it...so we got some from the bakery.

After dinner, we went to the Weihnachtsmarkt, to see what it was like in the snow. By then though, the snow was black and mushy...and most of it had turned to ice...it was so slippery!! Nightmarish man! I am so not going out anymore...not if I can help it. I had to wait more than 30 min for my Straßenbahn! The stupid signboard showed "10 min" for more than 20 minutes...or was it 25? Anyway, it was very very long! Sigh. I hate winter.

Ok, time to have breakfast now, then write the paper.