Last night turned out to be quite different from expected, or rather, planned. You see, the planned purpose was to learn how to cook Spanish food. The result was that I only had ONE spoonful of the soup we cooked. Haha...and now, the details of what happened in between:

Fu Wei said she wasn't coming cos of badminton...but her partner cancelled and she decided to go catch this dance show instead, but said she'd pop by after that.

So ok, met Carlos at the tram stop. I forgot what he looked like, but had a rough idea...thankfully, his back was facing me at first, so I didn't have to stare for a while to make sure I was right. Well, he was alone, which was good, because as he probably wouldn't have been able to pick me out from a bunch of Asians, I couldn't pick him out from a bunch of pple I thought looked more or less similar as well.

He said he had a surprise for me...haha...and the surprise was that 3 of his friends from Leipzig were there too, to eat. And that Sebastian and Nico would come later. I told him that Fu Wei would probably come later too. So we all sat at the table preparing stuff. The guy peeled and cut the potatoes, and I cut the onions...my hands now smell oniony...but the tearing bit wasn't too bad...expected it to be worse. Talked a bit with the one guy there who could speak better English...the 2 girls were too shy. But they were nice and friendly-looking.

Then we ate pasta first, cos the soup would take a long long time, apparently. The pasta was a bit too salty for me and by the time I got to the last bits, I was very full and the salt was a bit too much. I can't believe I was so bad at hiding it though. Carlos actually noticed me making a face when I was eating the last bits. Ooops. I definitely have to get better at acting. Well, the food was not bad..it was just A LOT..and salty.

After cleaning up, we went to the club downstairs to have a drink. I might mention again that I cannot hold my alcohol. So after one drink, I could totally feel the effects of the alcohol. But it wasn't as bad as some of the times where I couldn't really walk straight after...erm, like after drinking Glühwein at the Weihnachtsmarkt. They had this band...the music wasn't TOO bad but the guy's singing cannot be described as such. Carlos said the lead singer'd be a good model for shampoo, cos he had such long hair. Fu Wei and the 2 guys came soon after...Fu Wei asked Carlos if he knew the Spanish tennis players...which is how we found out that his surname was Moya...but before you think he's got the exact same name as the tennis player, he added that it's different, cos the tennis player's last name has an accent on the "a". Aha..

OH...and DARN IT! I forgot all about the Champions' League FINAL!!!! I dunno why I got the idea that it was on 20th May or something...so when I saw the newspaper with the report, I was like, "OOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Carlos doesn't like Barcelona...I don't really have an opinion about either team, but I used to not like Arsenal, cos they were Man Utd's rivals (this was a LOOOONG time ago). But since Chelsea started buying players like nobody's business, my dislike has shifted a bit towards them. I don't HATE Chelsea, but it is kinda stupid if the same team keeps winning year after year after year...like Bayern Munich also...and that Ballack ah...from one to another...let's see how he survives at Chelsea.

Soon, we had enough of the music and went to the 10th floor of the building to have a look, cos Nico lives there. It was really nice and the view is great. Fu Wei took some photos of us and the gorgeous Rathaus background. Then we walked through the Altstadt and crossed the bridge to the Neustadt and walked to Albertplatz. Then Carlos, Fu Wei and I made a U-turn and headed back in the direction of his place, cos the rest wanted to go have a drink or something. But we ended up meeting them on the tram again, cos we walked back across the river to take the tram. Fu Wei took more photos on the bridge. It was very peaceful and quiet...very nice..but I wouldn't take night strolls on my own...too dangerous. We wanted to at least taste the soup...and I'd left my bag in Carlos' room...so we had to go back to his place anyway. But Fu Wei was already super tired by then, so after a short while, she decided to go back...but it was too rushed for me. I hate running after buses...so I decided to stay and wait for the next bus...and maybe try the soup too. Well, I actually only did get a mouthful of it, and I said, "It needs more salt" and Carlos laughed, because he said he tried to put less salt after the pasta incident. Then he tasted it and agreed that there needed to be more salt. But in the end, I never got to try it again. We talked for about half an hour. I could see him falling asleep too...but I'd gotten to the point where I've lacked sleep for too long and was thus running on adrenalin. I felt bad though...but I certainly wasn't gonna stand around in the cold for so long. It was already nearly 2.30am when the bus came. I sure wasn't gonna wake up at 4.45am to go swimming anymore.

Anyway, it was cold, so Carlos lent me one of his jackets. I am eternally grateful because I would've froze otherwise. Then I looked again at it this morning, it turned out to be a Zara jacket, which made me remember that Zara was a Spanish brand...haha...sorry, so random...

So yeah, that's how the unexpected evening turned out to be even better fun that expected. :)

Fear is very debilitating...the fear of death makes you miss out on a lot of things which are part of life. The fear of failure often makes you not try at all. The fear of being embarrassed makes you only say things after you've thought about them a million times...and even then...they might remain inside you and just GROW. The fear of being hurt by someone close makes us push away those who care about us and whom we care about. Fear of being duped into thinking or believing in what we don't want to think or believe makes you avoid people who think differently, or believe in different things.

There was this person at the library today who asked me if I spoke Chinese. I said no. She had a whole stack of pamphlets in Chinese. My heart beat faster cos I wondered if they were some kind of pamphlets belonging to a religious cult. They tend to try to attract members this way, by using "fellow countrymen". Thankfully, she left me alone when I said I couldn't. But I had to think about it for a while while I was sitting in the library. Why was I so afraid? Is it because I was afraid that if she talked to me, I'd unwittingly not be able to say no and end up getting stuck in something I didn't want...but didn't know how to say no to? It happens to me when people try to sell me stuff. Although I keep telling myself not to listen and just resist...sometimes I just find it hard to say no. Maybe I have to learn that I really can say just no, I'm not interested and I don't even have to apologise...if the person is pushy, then I will have to keep saying no until they get the hint. But I think most normal people will stop when they know they can't get anywhere with you. I just have to train myself, I guess.

On the bus, there were 2 guys with extremely short hair...and I saw one of them wearing a Thor something jacket. If I am not wrong, this is one of the neo-Nazi brands that they named on Dresdner TV last weekend, on a report about neo-Nazi-related arrests in Saxony. Most of the arrests have been for possessing neo-Nazi material..and not outright violence, of course...but it is worrying. I mean there have been killings in Germany and other parts of Europe, mostly on Turks or dark-skinned people...but I mean these people are hostile to foreigners in general...so it's not like they find Chinese or Asians any better. Some people refuse to eat in Chinese restaurants because they think they'll be served dog meat. You may laugh, but it is a sad fact. The only comfort is that the general public mostly stigmatises such xenophobic behaviour. I guess there is no real need to worry unless you deliberately go hang out at places they are known to haunt...especially at night..and alone. But the idea of possibly dying a violent death at the hands of people who hate you just for your race is still alarming.

There are many many scary things in the world. Everyone dies, everyone fails at one time or another...everyone is embarrassed once in a while. Conversely, some fear is a good thing...it prevents some people from doing bad things, because they fear the consequences. However, I guess the key to leading a fulfilling life is to find a balance...to recognise that there are some things which we cannot avoid, things that are out of our control...and not to worry so much about such things, because when they happen, they happen. The things we can control, we should try to...like not being reckless drivers or careless pedestrians..or provoking people intentionally.

I hate it when people try to force their opinions on me...so sometimes I just wanna avoid people. Ironically, this goes against my view that people should be entitled to their own opinion. I guess I have to remember that I am totally entitled to think what I think, no matter what people say. I can choose to accept their way of thinking, or I can dismiss it in my mind for my own reasons. I have to get used to the idea that just because people tell me their opinion, doesn't mean that they are trying to force me to think the way they think.

There are a lot of things we know we should do. The hard part is applying it to our lives. But we have to start somewhere, don't we?

A lot of times, our fears are blown out of proportion, when we let it fester in our heads. Sometimes it's really not as bad as we make it out to be. One important thing to remember, is that often, we really haven't got much to lose. Putting everything into perspective is key...

Anyway, I'm gonna learn how to cook Spanish food tonight...pity Fu Wei has badminton tonight...I'd love to have her around! Erm, I hope I can still recognise the guys...or else, it's just gonna seem like I'm very dao.

Oh...and we all had dinner last night!! Liu Jian came to visit us! I made dessert this time: chendol and choco-banana-hazelnut muffins. The chendol was an amazing success. Not that it turned out perfect, but it tasted pretty good and everyone liked it...everyone had at least a second helping. The green chendol actually turned out kinda weird and looked nothing like it should...but it was edible, with the grass jelly, red beans and the coconut milk. Oh, I nearly burnt the red beans twice!!! Once cos I forgot to turn down the fire and the other time, I forgot to check the water level and it almost burnt for the second time. But in the end, it tasted great. Fu Wei made fried tang hoon and Mai and Phuong made fish, salad, keropuk and fried rice with char siew...yummy!!

Oh no...it's raining. :( Ah well...rain is ok..it's just cold, that's all. Maybe it'll stop soon!

Today was yet another shopping spree day! My goodness...I shudder to think about how much money I've spent today!

It all started with Karstadt...Karstadt Sport is moving out of its original building and they're having crazy sales. Well, not everything is THAT cheap, cos if the original price was 100 euros, then maybe you still have to pay 39 euros or something. I bought a new swimsuit. Fu Wei was like, "Huh?? Another one?" But she's right...I actually have 6 swimsuits in Singapore...7 but Sherry borrowed it years ago and I never ever got it back...and 2 here. This is my third one! Oops. I'd better go swimming more often this summer then! Make sure I wear the stuff I bought. Anyway, it was only 6.50 euros...and I also bought a bikini top for 1 euro. I figured I can wear it as normal underwear too...I don't have a bikini figure. And...I bought a cute top that says 'Chicks rule" and there are little pink chicks on it. Haha...that fortune cookie I got about me loving temptation is so true!

Went to the shoe store next door next, cos Fu Wei wanted to buy shoes for badminton..her current ones have a hole in them. I tried on lots of nice shoes, but 39.90 is not very cheap. Plus, after Friday's incident with the boots, I figure I'm not made for walking in heels. The nerves in my feet haven't died yet.

Then we walked along Prager Straße and I went to Colloseum and New Yorker. At New Yorker, I let temptation overcome me again and I bought 2 tops...even though they weren't on sale. But they were just too pretty to pass up! One's black and white striped. I don't usually enjoy wearing something everyone else is wearing, but the cut of the top is really flattering, so I just had to get it. The other one is turquoise and has a huge silver butterfly on it. I am a butterfly freak and turquoise is such a pretty summer colour..and looks great against the tan I got from tennis on Friday. When Mai saw it, she was like "Oh Samantha, that's so you!! It's perfect for you! You made an excellent choice!" And mind you, Mai is pretty critical when it comes to clothes...as in she doesn't tell you stuff looks good if she doesn't think it does. Like when I tried a cow patterned belt, she was like, "That's probably good for a fashion show, but not for normal occasions."

Fu Wei and I got back at around 1.45pm or so. Then we bumped into this girl who told us that Liu Jian was back and staying in her room. So Fu Wei and I went to see Liu Jian! Fu Wei had to go teach a class at 2.15, so Liu Jian and I continued talking for about an hour or so. It was like she hadn't left at all...

Then we went back down to my place so she could say hi to Phuong and Mai..and cos Mai and I were going to 2 Asian shops to interview the pple there and take a look at what they sell. It's part of our project...and it was actually kinda fun. I went to one of the places where I've never been to, and discovered a whole bunch of amazing stuff, like chendol, banana sauce (I kid you not - it looks like ketchup), blue ginger, buah keras, haw flakes!!!, etc etc. And the lady was super super nice! She answered all the questions we posed her. I decided to make chendol for Wednesday...the only problem is trying to get crushed ice. Sigh. How come I forgot all about that?? Anyway, I bought all the other stuff for it...and haw flakes...it cost slightly over 5 euros...and I was impressed with the orderliness of the shop! Oh, we forgot to bring our cameras...how silly!

Then we went to Karstadt (yes, AGAIN!) cos Mai was looking for a swimsuit for her mum. She ended up not buying a swimsuit and I ended up buying a new belt and a scarf, which I figure will be nice to tie over a plain tube. When we walked out of Karstadt, there was someone announcing a demonstration. I heard the words "racism" and "Hartz IV". I hope it isn't another neo-Nazi or anti-foreigners demo. And I hope it doesn't happen while I'm out on the streets. I mean in general, my life isn't in danger...as long as I don't walk right into the midst of them. But hearing random words might be even scarier than knowing what exactly they are saying. This is really why I don't like going out at night. Not that it's automatically unsafe, but really, why invite danger if you can avoid it? Still I really wish people would stop having the "us vs. them" mentality...but I guess being parochial really does give you weird ideas. Like these 2 guys sitting in front of Mai and me in the bus. They were working class dudes or unemployed, probably in their late 40s. We passed by this place..and one guy said to the other, "Wasn't there some Vietnamese working there previously? Now it's a 'Dönerbude'!" Dönerkebap is Turkish fastfood, for the uninitiated...and if you heard his tone, you'd know it was disapproving..and like "man..we are being overrun by foreigners". I wish this kind of thinking could change. I mean c'mon...are you sure that if your country had no foreigners, your life would be better? A lot of them do jobs that you don't want to do. If they left, it's not like you'd rush in do to their jobs...it's not just in Germany...it's in every country in the world. There may be cosmopolitan societies, but there isn't a lot of cosmopolitan thinking. People's mindsets have not caught up with the reality of globalisation.

Ok, this wasn't really what I was intending to blog about, but it disturbs me. I really cannot understand the lack of tolerance. No one's expecting you to go hug all the foreigners and shower them with love and affection...just don't hate them and try to kill them. They are foreigners in your land...but if you went to their country, you'd be a foreigner too...how'd you like that?? Erm...I guess this is an apostrophe to an imaginary racist person. But you know what the real problem is? If you really hate foreigners, I doubt reason will appeal to you. I can give all the good arguments I wish...you wouldn't believe me anyway. Sigh.

Anyway, Mai and I went to REWE and ALDI to buy groceries..I bought quite a lot. Am thinking of cooking Gulasch and Knödel...have been eating a lot of pasta and fried rice lately...time for a change. Anyway, my bag was super heavy after that...then in ALDI, I got a sports bag for travelling. I only have a small bag. And anyway, it was only 5.99 euros.

Then we went to the second Asian shop. I also bought quite a lot of stuff there, including wasabi peas, coconut milk, 2 kinds of tofu, zucchini and carrots. Then we went home...and honestly, I was relieved...we also managed to ask the interview questions...so it was a sense of accomplishment. Oh...and Mai and I ate ice cream too...the cone was super nice...

A full day of school tomorrow...let's hope I survive. I'm totally beat.

Your dating personality profile: Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Big-Hearted - You are a kind and caring person. Your warmth is inviting, and your heart is a wellspring of love. Funny - You laugh often. People never accuse you of lacking a sense of humor. You don't take yourself too seriously.

Your date match profile: Funny - You consider a good sense of humor a major necessity in a date. If his jokes make you laugh, he has won your heart. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things. Shy - You are put off by people who are open books. You are drawn to someone who is a bit more mysterious. You want to draw him out of his shell and get to know what he is all about.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Liberal 2. Big-Hearted 3. Funny 4. Romantic 5. Adventurous 6. Athletic 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Practical 9. Intellectual 10. Sensual

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Funny 2. Adventurous 3. Shy 4. Practical 5. Athletic 6. Intellectual 7. Big-Hearted 8. Conservative 9. Romantic 10. Wealthy/Ambitious

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

Well, I took this test about 1 year ago...and it's strange to see how some things have changed and others haven't...

I HATE politics...so I have no idea why this test keeps telling me that I am interested in it...I mean ok, I do sort of have an opinion, but only if you force it out of me. I don't like talking about it...I'll let the politicians carry on with their own business..I don't get why people insist on discussing politics...and even fight with other people cos if it. If growing up means being forced to talk about politics, I'd rather remain a kid for the rest of my life. I mean I really don't understand why people complain for the sake of complaining. I do believe that some freedoms have to be taken away to ensure the greater good of the collective...and I refuse to let people tell me that we need more press and political freedom...just for the sake of having freedom. I see the negative sides of people who have been given too much freedom...and I detest it. Freedom for the sake of freedom is useless and destructive. Ok..that's all I will say to this..I don't wanna say anymore. I may be idealistic, but I wish people were less complicated, less selfish, less power-hungry and more peace-loving, patient and loving towards other people...regardless of race, language or religion (yes, I "stole" this from the pledge, but I think that all this discrimination is hurting many many people...and even people I thought could be tolerant, are not. Much less the Neonazis that everyone here is worried about. Tolerance, people...have more tolerance!)

The older I get, the more I see and the more I interpret and the more I feel...and it hurts me. Does grief inevitably come with wisdom and knowledge? I wish to be ignorant and happy.

I have a neckache now...been sitting in front of the com for too long today. It's a bit sad that I spend all my weekends doing work or homework...but there's no other way around it. There's no other way I'd be able to cope with all the stuff otherwise. And in a way, I'm glad...it's something to keep me busy...that way, I won't have to feel bored or wish I had someone to spend time with.

Mai and I discussed our project today..the planning is going pretty well. Erm, though I get the feeling that I am very bossy...or well, at least, I have more say in the project. It was the same with the Business English presentation. I came up with the idea and slowly, as I get a clearer concept of what I want to do, most of the details tend to be my suggestions. I hope no one feels I'm being too pushy...I don't mind doing more work...seriously...but I hope they don't feel like they are doing MY project, not OUR project.

Going to be quite busy tomorrow...Fu Wei and I are going to Karstadt in the morning and Mai and I are going to check out two Asian shops for our project in the afternoon...then on Tuesday, it's back to school again...ah well...