Damn! They brought forward the date of registration for my French language class! So now there are no spaces left (only 20 were available) and there are 20 people on the waiting list. What are the odds of everyone who signed up failing to turn up for class? I seriously doubt that'll happen...so I didn't sign up on the waiting list. I still may have a chance with Russian...and Arabic is not full yet, but should I sign up? Well, I guess I still have a bit of time to decide.

The crew is coming tomorrow. It's kinda exciting...but bad because I haven't done my homework yet! No excuses. I'm just lazy.

Oh well...things don't always happen the way you want them to.

something wrong with blogger today but I hope/guess that it's solved now. Couldn't login, couldn't edit posts, couldn't log out...so silly!

I decided to take a look at all my archived posts today. Although I've been blogging for over a year, nearly 2, I don't have that many posts. Some are just quiz results and others are barely more than a sentence. But somehow I've seen that I've changed in some ways. I started with some posts about Wan Quan Yu Le and now, nearly 2 years later, Channel U has stopped showing it. Really no more life in Singapore man...Ren Fu and Shanwei's antics on the show were enough to make me rush home/refuse to go out when the show was on. And I don't have cable...and my grandmother just cancelled Channel 56 on her StarHub cable subscription. Well...no more reason to stay at home in the afternoon when I'm in Singapore anymore. Some people are speculating on the merger between Mediacorp and Mediaworks to be one of the possible causes. But hey, this one show hardly decides the future of television stations...after all, it's not even produced by either company.

I shouldn't be spending so much time infront of the com...but it just happens. Sigh. Gonna wash the dishes, bathe and go to the library.

Yes, I hate feeling guilty so I make all these excuses for myself. Is it so wrong? I think all of us do that. It's called rationalising. I don't think it's wrong if it doesn't hurt anyone else. I'll deal with my own mess, thanks. I won't ask anyone else to pick up the pieces for me.

I was just thinking of what Cady said in Mean Girls. Calling someone ugly doesn't make you any prettier and calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. Okay, so maybe it's not a direct quote, but the gist of it is there. The point is, belittling someone, or trying to make them feel inadequate is not going to help the situation. Emotional blackmail may seem effective, but the question is, is that the result you really want? That you make people feel bad? When they do, it'll reflect off you too, because people who aren't happy with themselves don't treat other people very well either.

In life, there are just lots of painful emotions and situations that we have to deal with. There's no guarantee that if something feels certain or correct right now, that it'll always be so..or vice versa. It's not wrong to feel sad or grieve when you're hurting. The important thing is to be able to get over it and pull yourself together, because life goes on. Tripping and falling is painful, but hey, you can always get up again...no matter how many times it happens. Most of the time, you can actually learn something from all of it, if you just open your eyes and more importantly, your heart. Sometimes you have to reopen wounds to clean them deeply before they can heal. But this short term pain, though intense, will help you heal in the long run. Having a pain-free, carefree life is not the solution to all of your problems. Learning to deal with the pain and cares is what you need. Grieve by all means...but when it's over, don't bear grudges and just start over.

I guess some people don't like to cry. I cry pretty easily though. Lots of times, people tell me to stop crying. I tell them to let me cry. Sometimes we just need a physical outlet for our pain...and I think crying's a form of emotional detoxification. It sure beats cutting yourself, drowing in alcohol or stoning on drugs.

Whatever pain you're feeling, someone else in the world has felt it. You're not the only one, even if you'd like to think that way. You think no one understands you, but hey, you don't understand them either. There're so many people out there in pain. What you could do is realise how lucky you are, that there are certain things in life you don't have to worry about...which are a daily struggle for many people out there.

Life is meant for living..not for wallowing in self-pity and regret. Yes, it sounds cruel but really, who ever said medicine was sweet and healing painless?